Novelty Cuisine at the Modern Toilet

Well, how often do you get to see the words "cuisine" and "toilet" used in the same sentence?

Not that often, I'm guessing.

But I couldn't pass up commenting on a Time Magazine article that was making the rounds online last week that "reviewed" (sort of) a Taiwanese restaurant chain called the Modern Toilet. Modern Toilet features desserts with such savory names as "diarrhea with dried droppings," "bloody poop," and "green dysentery," served under on "toilet-shaped plates" under "poop-shaped lights."

For the life of me, I can't see how this gets carried off "tastefully," which is how one person eating at the Modern characterized the restaurant:

As Jennifer Finch, an American who was dining there, described it, "They do it tastefully. It's all very clean."

Clean, perhaps. But tasteful. (Green dysentery for dessert. Yum!)

A local diner called the place "progressive and irreverent."

If this be progress....

Anyway, my first question on learning about the Modern Toilet was, where did a bunch of 9 year old boys get the capital to open a restaurant chain.

But, no, there are actual grown-ups behind Modern Toilet, who describe themselves as "a group of 'muckrakers' following our dreams."

Who am I to criticize folks for following their dreams, but dreaming about "poop-shaped lights" and a dessert called "green dysentery"? These are the types of dreams I try to shake off first thing in the morning, not follow.

Not that I would be completely grossed out by it. Sure, drinking from a hospital urine bottle might give me some pause - I would inevitably and involuntarily wonder whether it had been used - but sitting on a seat shaped like a toilet and eating from a plate shaped like a toilet wouldn't bother me in the least. (As long as I wasn't eating any of that green dysentery.)

I have a strong stomach, and did spend my college years in a place where the dining service featured items called Hoof, Puck, Scum, and Abortion. (These were, of course, the unofficial names.)

The Modern Toilet, however, just isn't an experience I'd go out of my way for - or, frankly, want to have even if I didn't have to go out of the way for it.

I'm just not that big on theme restaurants to begin with. I can't imagine why anyone would eat at a Rain Forest Cafe twice. And,thus, I can't imagine that the Modern Toilet gets much repeat business. I would think that the novelty of sitting on a "stylish acrylic toilet" would wear off pretty fast.

But others may disagree, and this is not, as the MT's web site tells us, "a 'me-too' brand".

In an age where creative marketing is king, product differentiation = competitiveness.

Yeah, but, as I've learned through a long and dogged career in marketing: meaningless and stupid product differentiation does not equal competitiveness in the long run. It just equals meaningless and stupid product differentiation.

For those who disagree, there are franchising opportunities. The MT folks believe that the moment has passed for boring, pedestrian pizza and donut franchises, so:

If you are still looking for an opportunity to start your business, talk to us! We can help make your dream come true!

Unlike some franchises, there seems to be fairly wide latitude on restaurant decor.  Apparently, as long as you stick to the tagline Go To Toilet/Deliver UR Shit, you're within bounds. (Hmmm. I wonder what that "UR" is supposed to mean. Is it "your" or "you are"? Either way, just what I want to be told when I pick up a restaurant menu.)