Giving up for Lent

Admittedly, I'm nothing more than a cultural Catholic, a neo-Pagan, so I'm not really giving anything up for Lent - especially not now, when it's half-way through.

And even when I was a real Catholic, a bona-fide anti-Pagan, I wasn't much for giving anything up.

Candy would have been easy enough: we seldom had it in our house to begin with. But my father did sometimes bring home chocolate for Valentine's Day, and if Valentine's Day fell during Lent - no way was I going to give that up.

TV? No way! I didn't want to miss Leave it to Beaver or Wagon Train.

Dessert? Out of the question. Hey, if I were going to have to gag down creamed corn and liver, I was hardly going to forego Congo Bars or Daddy's Favorite raisin-nut cake, was I?

Reading books? Sure, I suppose it would have been noble to swap out the teen-romances I favored - fabulous novels like Double Date, Double Feature, for a more edifying, religiously-oriented book such as Lydia Longley, First American Nun.  But, hey, I managed to get through 3 or 4 of both each week.

I might have been able to do without 'talking-back-to-my-mother-fighting-with-my-sister-being-mean-to-my-brother', but then I would have had nothing to say during my bi-weekly Confession.

One year, I tried to go to Mass everyday before school, but that only lasted until I came down with Scarlet Fever.

I did put money regularly in the mite box that they issued us at school so that we could save up for the missions. But, since I was living on 25 cents a week, 10 cents of which I already had to throw in my envelope at Mass each Sunday, there was only so much I could do.

But this year, I am giving up something for the rest of Lent. Since I'm pretty sure I don't have an immortal soul to do it for the good of, let's just say I'm doing it for my mental health.

What I am giving up is - ta-da - looking at the comments sections on news articles. Here's what I'll be giving up:

• Comments calling President Obama a leftist punk.
• Comments calling Republicans "Repugs".
• Comments calling for Senator Grassley's resignation for suggesting that AIG execs should do the honorable thing and commit hari-kari.
• Comments suggesting that everyone at AIG who got a bonus should do the honorable thing and commit hari-kari.
• Comments about how the US is becoming a communist country.
• Comments blaming the economic/financial crisis on "them."
• Comments calling Nancy Pelosi a shrill, hyper-partisan hag.
• Comments making jokes about John Boehner's last name.
• Comments claiming that nothing bad would have happened if it weren't for Barney Frank (with the attendant comment subtext, nearly universally present: fat, gay, Jew).
• Comments excoriating Baby Boomers for trying to keep working.
• Comments excoriating Gen-X and Gen-Y for being pampered no-nothings with a ridiculous sense of entitlement and worth.
• Comments extolling the Greatest Generation.
• Comments referring to the NY Yankees as the MF Yankees.
• Comments on Manny Ramirez, period. (I will, however, likely be talkin' Manny in a post at some point soon.)
• Comments pointing out that the Octomom has a few screws loose.
• Comments blaming Natasha Richardson's death on socialized medicine.
• Comments about how the Natasha Richardson tragedy has had such a profound and utter impact on the commenter that they can somehow equate their grief with that of Ms. Richardson's family.
• Comments stating that anyone who made $50K a year more than they ever did, and who's lost their job, "deserve it."
• Comments calling for protectionism.
• Comments name calling immigrants.
• Comments on Michelle Obama's sleeveless dresses.
• Comments on Jeremiah Wright.
• Comments on Meghan McCain's weight and/or hot-quotient.
• Comments by, for, or about Rush Limbaugh.
• Comments pointing out the Dick Cheney looks sinister. (Tell us something we don't know, already.)
• Comments stating that The Boston Globe is a leftist rag that will halt its presses soon because it is a leftist rag.
• Comments saying that Gisele Bundchen is the world's most beautiful woman.
• Comments saying that Gisele Bundchen looks like a man.
• Comments calling Tom Brady a girly-man wuss.
• Comments calling Tom Brady a living saint.
• Comments telling other commenters to get a life.

Let's face it, in the old days, when you had to actually write a thoughtful comment, put your name - and a stamp - on it, and send it into the paper hoping that they'd publish it, there was a boatload more thoughtful commenting and a lot less screed.

Anonymity, and the pretty much everything-gets-published mentality, means that a goodly proportion of pretty much everything is vicious, nonsense, or vicious nonsense. Yet I sometimes find myself reading page after page of them. Looking for what, I don't know.

Assurance that the world will be a better place? Hah! I better start looking elsewhere.

Signs that a Know-Nothing, fascist coup is imminent? Too much points to that. No wonder I'm going crazy.

Well, I could go on, but, let me tell you, this giving up thing really works. My mental health has improved 100% just in the few days that I've stopped reading the venom-filled and/or moronic and/or banal comments that accompany every news article these days.

Maybe next Lent I'll give up reading the news entirely.