Cigarette's for the health conscious? Naturally, I'm curious.

I pulled one of those annoying, card-stock inserts out of a magazine last week, but before I tossed it in the recycle bin - oh, environmentally friendly me - I gave it a look.

"Not All Tobacco Is Created Equal," is proclaimed.

Natural American Spirit is giving away $20 Gift Certificates, to get you to test their claim that natural tastes better, while also conceding that it does not mean a safer cigarette.

But the cigarettes "provide adult smokers with tobacco the way nature intended - 100% additive-free."

Well, first I read that as "100% addictive free", but once I got over that little jolt, I thought I'd check out American Spirit and the Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company.

First off, you have to divulge your age, and whether you're a smoker or not, in order to get into the site. Then, if you push the non-smoker button, a pop up box suggests that if you don't smoke, don't start. (Gee, thanks for the reminder.)

Once you're in, and if you head on over to the FAQ, which is generally my first stop when I'm roaming around a new site, you learn that SFNTC is owned by Reynolds Tobacco - home of "principled, creative, dynamic, and passionate" people, which you'll see if you trip on over to their site. That is, you'll see it once you close the box that says "Attention Smokers: Congratulations. Due to your action, Congress extended the State Children's Health Insurance Program trough March 2009 without increasing the Federal cigarette tax." Well played, smokers! Everyone gets the feel good about healthy kids, without having to cough up any stinkin' higher taxes.

Anyway, RJR's site is full of sure-it's-unhealthy-but-if-you-as-an-adult-choose palaver, balanced out by bragging about their market share and number of brands in the Top Ten. And just so you know, Camel and Pall-bearer Mall are RJR growth brands; Kool, Salem, and Winston are support brands (i.e., there's some advertising). Dad's Lucky Strikes are non-support brands. Smoke 'em if you've got 'em, but don't expect to see Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco, or "Sold American!" ads anytime soon.

But RJR is a side note, a distraction from Santa Fe and their American Spirit cigarettes, and their "certified organic tobacco."

So, who are they aiming for? Health conscious smokers?

Naturally, I was curious - so curious that I lied and said I was a smoker, since, when I hit the non-smoker button I quite oddly couldn't get into the realm of the American Spirit. (Maybe I didn't click hard enough.)

I was most interested in checking out the section on smoker stories, but the ones I saw were pretty boring, and not exactly what I'd call a story, in any 'once-upon-a-time,' character, action, and plot sense:

"I like that your cigarettes are so tightly packed. You get more tobacco in every one." -JP

"My non-smoking friends don’t complain about the smoke smell like they do with other brands." - KW

"I figure if you’re going to smoke, you should smoke something that’s actually natural." -SK

"I’m glad that you don’t add anything to the tobacco. That’s all you really need." -LM

"It’s not just for hippies anymore. This is a quality product." -DP

Well, at least old DP there provided a little color with his/her ' not just for hippies anymore' "story"  - although American Spirits weren't on the market until 1982, which was sort of the post-hippie era. Maybe DP meant "aging hippies".

And it's not as if I expected to see any real stories, with true outcomes. Something along the lines of:

I smoked American Spirit cigarettes for 20-plus years, foolishly convincing myself that "natural" and "organic" meant healthy.  Silly me! I have Stage Three lung cancer.

But I would at least have hoped for a 'how I met my husband when I asked him for a light' or 'when I stepped outside for a smoking break, I saw a kid run into traffic and I grabbed him just before the garbage truck mowed him down' tale or two.

Maybe smokers are too busy smoking to write up real stories.

I'm not really going to get into a self-righteous huff about smoking and smokers here.

No, I don't smoke, and, when I did a gazillion years ago, it was in pretty casual mode - in a bar when everyone else was smoking; when I was waitressing and it was almost always okay to announce that you were taking a cigarette break.

But I do know some smokers, occasional and chain. And plenty of ex-smokers, including some recently come-around ones.

So I know that it's an easy habit to fall into, and hard habit to quit. And that there are definite satisfactions to be had from lighting up and puffing away.

It's just that I'm struck by the overall dopiness of natural, organic cigarettes.

Is it just me, or does it seem really odd that anyone - knowing what we know now - who continues to smoke, would be health-conscious enough to worry about whether that smoke was organic and natural?