Daylighting

Growing up, the only people I knew who moonlighted where firefighters who, on their off days, painted, wallpapered, and did yard work.

My family didn't use them.

My parents did their own painting and wallpapering, thank you very much.

And yard work?

What was the purpose of having a slew of kids if you didn't want them to do yard work? (I will state here, though, that my father was the clear captain of the yard work squad.)

Once I began working, I ran into occasional moonlighters, all/most of which fell into one of three categories. Most fell into category one: someone with an avocation that could conceivably and occasionally make them some money. In this grab bag, I'll put the bass guitarists, antiquers, painters, quilters, jewelry-makers, photographers, and other primarily creative types I've worked with over the years. (There may have been some Saturday real estate agents in there, but I don't recall any.)

Into the second category were National Guard members and reservists who, in bygone days, were not generally called up for anything much beyond their weekend a month/two weeks in the summer stints. (Those were the days.) I don't know if these folks technically counted as moonlighters, but it was another job - something they got paid for - that they worked in addition to their "real job." (Those were the days.)

The final bucket holds the home party types who, over time, migrated the home parties to a conference room in the office  - or just circulated the catalog so we could order the damned Tupperware without having to put up with the party.

In all of these categories, the side jobs were just that: side jobs.

With the exception of the active duty periods for reservists, the side jobs didn't really conflict - or compete for time with - the real job you were being paid to do, and which actually paid your bills.

A new category of side-liners is now emerging. Daylighters are so called because, unlike moonlighters, who for the most part had the decency to wait until after wok to do their "other job" until after 5 p.m., they do their work during the regular work day. Generally in stealth mode.

This I learned from a recent article I saw floating by on CNN last week.

The article talked about Brian - no last name for obvious reasons, and likely a bogus first name as well - a NYC sales guy who uses a stall in the men's room as a "secret cubicle" for taking care of his other job as a mortgage broker.

Brian, it seems, has:

"...a certain lifestyle, and I need a certain amount of money coming in."

Don't we all, Brian, don't we all.

It's just that most of us don't work two jobs simultaneously - clearly cheating on at least one of them.

But mortgage broker? Good luck to him these days. And remind me never to look for a mortgage from someone in NYC named (or not) Brian. I hate those business conversations with flushing going on the background!

Brian is supposedly part of a trend that's emerging, at least anecdotally: those

...squeezing two jobs into one shift -- moonlighting by day, as it were -- as a hedge against a sagging economy or to maintain their style of living.

Of course, Brian is a sales man, so I guess if he's making his numbers, his company may be happy to turn a blind eye - or deaf ear in the men's room - to his other job.

As it turns out, the mortgage brokering is his first love, one in which he's been able to bring in as much as $20K a month. But not all months are $20K months, and to balance things out, he found a "real job". Full time, but not quite so full time that it takes up his full time.

And taking care of his second job while on the clock for his first clock, enables Brian to step out for:

...three or four nights a week of lavish dining (with a bar bill three times the food bill), several vacations abroad and an apartment in New York City.

With that kind of social schedule, it's no wonder he can't be working after hours.

All this is made possible, of course, by the miracles of technology.

You're on your computer, unless someone's looking over your shoulder, who knows if that website you're looking at is related to your job-job, or to something else.

You're on your cell phone, unless someone's eavesdropping, who knows whether that call is to a client of the company, or your own personal customer on the side.

You're keyboarding away, unless someone finds a business letter on the printer in the hall, who knows whether you're writing up the business plan for that save-the-company product, or a contract for that mortgage you just brokered.

It's hard for me to see where someone gets the cycles during their workday to take care of job #2. I realize that I was never the most efficient worker on the face of the earth, but my full-time days were full, and generally spilled over into 10-11 hours on the job every day.

And it sure makes me happy that I'm not a manager wondering whether I should start peeping over shoulders, listening more closely to calls, or standing guard at the printer trying to snare an employee up to no good. (Or up to something that's no particular good to our company.)

As for Brian, he laments that all those sneaky runs to the bathroom to juggle his two jobs are "really tough."

Really, Brian?

Not as tough as it will be if you're boss' boss has to take a bio-break when you're occupying the stall he needs, making a call.

Here's hoping that he scares the living daylighting out of you.