Why Buy the Cow?

Okay, okay. It's a terrible expression  - and likely one that nobody under the age of 40 has ever heard uttered. For those who aren't familiar with it, the expression is, 'why buy the cow when the milk's free;' and the gist, of course, is 'why would a man marry a woman who's willing to put out without the ring.'

It was one of the few pieces of life advice my mother ever gave me, and, naturally, it went unheeded.

It was, however, the first thing that popped into my mind when I went online looking for a tax form and stumbled across a company that sells them.

Here's what happened:

A new client asked me to send them a copy of my W9 form, which is a simple little form that provides your Social or your Tax ID to a company you're doing work for. Simple enough.

For whatever reason, rather than go directly to the IRS site, I googled and found a company that would provide me with a W9 form for the low, low price of $6.95.

The site selling W9's and other IRS forms is something called ExpressEForms, which is part of a company that sells printed checks - including laser checks for Quick/Books/Quicken, toner cartridges, business cards, and other handy-dandy stuff for small businesses.

I get why you'd be willing to pay for checks: your bank charges you for them, and these guys will get them to you quickly.

I get why you'd be willing to pay for toner cartridges: Staples charges you for them, and these guys could save you a trip.

But if someone could explain why anyone would pay to download the self-same W9 form they could get for FREE on the IRS, I'm all ears.

ExpressEForms comes up as a sponsored link, so they're clearly going after business. (They even let us know that they're IRS approved! Whatever that means. And why would the IRS want to approve an expense that will cut into their tax revenue? I am agog at this one.)

Who are the people who pay for IRS forms?

I don't run a business. Does the IRS charge for bulk copies of W2 and other forms? If so, it makes as much sense to buy it from another vendor.

But who'd pay $6.95 for a pdf that I can download from the IRS site and make multiple pdf and/or multiple paper copies of?

Huh? Why wouldn't they just give me it for free, telling me that I can also buy W2's in bulk there (presuming that it makes sense to pay for W2's)? Or why wouldn't they just have a message "for individual forms, go to the IRS"?

I am not the world's shrewdest consumer. It's not that I get taken a lot - other than by sob-story panhandlers on the street. Even in that case, the second time the same guy comes up to me with a story about how he ran out of gas and has a sick baby, well, I JUST SAY NO!

But I'm not all that supremely price sensitive - other than yesterday morning when even I refused to pay $9.99 for a miserly bag of cherries at Whole Foods, much as I wanted them. (And, just now, having admitted that I even shop at Whole Foods screams 'price insensitivity', doesn't it?)

$6.95 for a W9 form.

ExpressEForm had a link to click if I wanted to chat with someone, but it wasn't working when I clicked on it.

Too bad.

I was really looking forward to asking who in her right mind pays them good money for a form that's free just a click away!

Which, naturally, put me in mind of that charming question about the cow and the free milk.

Which, since one time-waster on the 'net invariably leads to another, I thought I'd googled, just to see where it came from.

And, naturally, I got sidetracked onto a site called CattleMax that sells herd management software. Now there's an interesting niche. Wonder if you can use it for other hoof stock, too, or whether hogs have an entirely different way of being managed. Which, I suppose they do, since they don't get herded on trail drives, or participate in rodeos (pig roping?).

Once again, the Internet does not fail to entertain.