Oh, Promessa Me

Mary Roach is a very funny science writer. (Yes. You read that right. VERY-FUNNY-SCIENCE-WRITER.)

I discovered her in Buffalo Airport, when, John Updike novel in hand (the one about the terrorists - I've forgotten the title), Spook just leapt off the shelf, knocking Updike to the floor and poltergeisting me to the checkout counter. Spook is about scientific attempts to prove whether there's a soul that floats on to an afterlife, and it's quite a hilarious read. (Sorry to disappoint you of big faith, but nothing's proven so far.)

My joy in discovering Ms. Roach led me to pick up a copy of her earlier book, Stiff, which is all about what happens to bodies after the soul - for lack of a better word - departs.

I have actually given some thought over the years about what to do with my own personal corpus when it's no longer quite as delectable as it is now.

I was never planning on joining the extended family in St. Joseph's Cemetery outside Worcester. Lovely as the spot is, burial there would mean being interred in sacred ground on the false premise that I am still a Catholic.

So years ago, my husband and I signed up to give our bodies to Harvard Medical, and for years we carried little yellow cards that said "In case of death, please contact Harvard Medical School." There was plenty of room in those wallets, since neither of us was any longer carrying the "I am a Catholic. In case of accident, please call a priest" cards that we had growing up.

Then we heard that Harvard was outsourcing their cadaver business. India. Plastics. I can't recall what it was.

So we settled on cremation. My plans for my ashes? Toss a few somewhere in Main South Worcester, where no one will notice the grit. Toss a few more in St. Joseph's. Discretely sprinkle a bit in Fenway Park. (I will leave enough in my will to buy good seats for the game. First base side, please.) Maybe some in Boston Harbor, maybe some in Galway Bay. And, since I don't want to create too much of a burden on my sisters and/or nieces who will no doubt get stuck with disposal: you are free to do what you wanted with them.

Jim is completely indifferent. Assuming I outlive him, I'll do the Boston Harbor-Galway Bay thing. Maybe, despite what he might think or want, I'll dump a few in Bellows Falls, Vermont, where he grew up (and fled at a young age).

But I'm rethinking cremation.

Not because the process, as described in Stiff , is so ooogie.

Guess what? All the processes that take ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pretty much are.

No, having read Stiff, I now know that, contrary to what you might be thinking, cremation is not all that environmentally beneficial. It's even a little harmful, what with those mercury fillings getting released into the atmosphere.

So I was intrigued by Mary's chapter on Promessa, a Swedish company founded by biologist/environmentalist Susanne Wiigh-Mäsak, that's promoting something called "ecological burial." Here's some info from the Promessa site:

The method behind ecological burial is crystal-clear, easy to grasp and accept. It is based on a new combination of tried-and-tested techniques that prepare the corpse for a natural process of decomposition...avoiding harmful embalming fluid....

An important part of the solution is to remove that which is least important; the water that makes up 70 percent of a normal-sized body. Technically speaking, this is done using an entirely closed individual process in which the corpse is freeze-dried in liquid nitrogen...

This makes the body very brittle, and vibration of a specific amplitude transforms it into an organic powder that is then introduced into a vacuum chamber where the water is evaporated away.

The now dry powder then passes through a metal separator where any surgical spare parts and mercury are removed...[and the powder is] now ready to be laid in a coffin made of corn starch. There is no hurry with the burial itself. The organic powder, which is hygienic and odorless, does not decompose when kept dry. The burial takes place in a shallow grave in living soil that turns the coffin and its contents into compost in about 6-12 months time. In conjunction with the burial and in accordance with the wishes of the deceased or next of kin, a bush or tree can be planted above the coffin.

I will easily overlook the fact that Promessa sounds like a feminine hygiene product, and look for them to start marketing their services to forward thinking funeral parlors in the U.S.

In the meantime, with no plans to depart this vale of tears anytime soon, I look forward to Mary Roach's next book - whatever her topic may be.