Lord of the Flies: CBS Kids' Nation

There are many ways in which I feel bad for kids today, and foremost among the ways that I feel bad for them is that so much of their lives is mediated in a way completely foreign to us Baby Boomers. Kids' play is more structured, they're more closely watched, there's a lot less freedom, and a lot more adult interaction and intervention.

Back in the day, unless there were blood and guts spilled, parents pretty much stayed out of the picture. And kids pretty much figured it out for themselves.

I remember one childhood incident in which an older boy (5th grade to our 2nd grade) was pestering my girlfriends and I while we were playing jump rope. Michael Sheridan kept jumping in and wrecking the game for us, while also showing off how easy it was for him to get the knack of a stupid girls game even though he had a broken arm.

Overlaid over this whole thing was the exciting little frisson that Michael Sheridan was really cute. That he was older. That he had a twin brother.

Well, all this aside, Michael jumped in on our jump roping one too many times. My friend Susan and I, who were working "the ends" (i.e., the ones swinging the rope), pulled the jump rope taut on him, tripping him up and sending him home crying. Served him right.

About an hour later his twin brother, Neil (also crying), showed up and yelled at us that Michael had reinjured his arm and was on the way to the hospital.

You're just lucky, you big fat crybaby, we told Neil, that we didn't call Susan's policeman uncle to report Michael for trespassing on our game.

That was the last we heard of that, and I don't recall either of the Sheridan boys bothering us again.

These days, this "incident" probably would have brought on the cops, a battery of psychologists, restraining orders, and lawsuits. And that's too bad. Susan and I were nice kids; the Sheridan brothers were nice kids. There are just some things that kids need to learn themselves. Susan and I learned that we weren't powerless in the face of a bigger kid bothering us; and - as nice little girls - we also learned that a small act, done in anger, could cause harm. We felt guilty that we may have actually done something that caused harm to Michael Sheridan - as deserving as he may have been.

Michael Sheridan, presumably, learned not to be so quick to tease us little girls.

So I actually think that there's a lot to be said for kids working things out among themselves when it comes to squabbles, turf wars, and petty pissing matches.

Truly, there are certain things that you just don't need adults around for.

Still and all, I am completely, 100% appalled and aghast at a new series that CBS is proposing, according to a Variety report.

Kids Nation brings 40 kids - aged 8 to 15 - together f0r 40 days, (nice biblical touch, no?) during which time they're supposedly on their own, building their own society: economy, culture, polity.

The kiddies relocated to Bonanza City, N.M., a ghost town abandoned more than a century ago. Prodigal children live without parental supervision and modern comforts.

Goal for the kids is to build a functional society. They have to pass laws, choose leaders and build an economy. People familiar with the project said the kids may also be given choices between things they need (food and supplies) and things they want (think Nintendo Wii)...

CBS brass have kept the project quiet in part out of fear that the idea of the project -- kids living sans parents -- could kick up a media frenzy and threaten production before it began. By wrapping the show before its announcement, net will now be able to show off clips and perhaps quash some pre-broadcast controversy.

Where to begin on this one.

As much as I believe that kids nowadays are cosseted, protected in many ways from the reality of "real life", over-defended, over-mediated...Is this not the absolute WORST idea for a reality TV show?

Okay, it may not be the absolute worst: Pitting people against each other to see who "wins" a life-saving organ transplant would be worse. Going into an office and announcing that 20% of the people were going to be laid off in 3 weeks - but the list hadn't been decided yet - would be worse. Having Alzheimer patients play "do you remember" games would be worse. But this concept is pretty darned awful.

For starters, there's the age range.

Eight year olds are still sitting on laps and snuggling. They're still hopping into bed with Mommy and Daddy on Sundays. They still (want to) believe in Santa Claus.

Can you imagine shipping your eight (or nine or ten) year old off to a ghost town in New Mexico to hang out unsupervised - except for the cameramen, I guess - for a month?

Yes, the kids can leave anytime they want. And it's not like Survivor or American Idol, where people get kicked off or eliminated. But having kids "pass laws, choose leaders, and build an economy"? Say, isn't that our job as adults.

Although I don't watch a lot of reality TV shows, I've seen enough to know that there's a story arc that gets edited in, and that the participants often become stock characters. Easy to imagine that the stock characters on Kids Nation will include the crybaby, the sniveling whiner, the bully, the sneak, the liar, the meanie, the brat, the braggart, the foolish risk taker, the goofball, the dummy.

Most kids have a little of all of those characteristics in their personal repertoire at one point or another. That's life. But which one of these would you want to be the defining focus for your kid? For each kid who gets to be the natural leader, good shepherd, or talented improvisor there'll be one whose tagged as something less flattering. You want that to be your kid? Is being on TV, is being People Magazine-famous, is having a c.v. "credential" so all-fired important that you'd a) ship your kid away to a ghost-town for 40 days, and b) risk having him or her portrayed as someone other than society's darling?

Appalling.

This wouldn't be such a bad idea if they were doing it with older kids: know-it-all high school grads, or even 15-18 year olds. You're so smart? Go figure it out.

But pre-teens and early-teens are far to vulnerable and needy for this.

Kids may not need to be as over-mediated and over-protected as they are in today's world. (I read that there are parents of recent college grads who are negotiating their kids' job offers for them. Huh? I think I'd be rescinding that job offer as fast as you can say Mummy-Daddy.) Kids, we all know, are tough and resilient. But they're also fragile and dependent.

Kids Nation? Sounds like a recipe for disaster, at least for some of its young citizens.

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September 19, 2007: This post has been picked up by The Issue, a blog newspaper. If you want to see what others have to see about this issue, you can head there.