Ivan and Hayley, tourists from hell

Every once in a while, some imbecile tags a building, or wall, or monument, or bridge in my neighborhood. 

It's generally taken care of pretty quickly. But it's never taken care of quickly enough for me. 

I am so not a fan of graffiti, and just hate seeing it on walls, buildings, monuments, and bridges - whether they're in my 'hood or not. Ditto when it comes to subway cars that are tagged. I'm sure that some graffiti "artists" are talented. After all, there is Banksy. But mostly I encourage those armed with a spray can to deface their very own personal buildings, walls, monuments, and bridges. And if you don't have your own subway car, by all means tag your bedroom walls. Mostly, I find graffiti brutalizing and ugly. 

And then there are the narcissistic maroons who need to immortalize themselves by carving their names into antiquities. As is the case of Ivan the Tourist, make that Ivan the Terrible Tourist, who, armed with a set of keys, was recently caught on camera scratching "Ivan + Hayley 23/6/23" into the side of the Colosseum. 

Come on, Ivan.

Spray painting "Chico 147" on a NYC subway car is one thing. Bad enough! Appalling! Carving your name in the 2,000 year old Colosseum is quite another. Worse! APPALLING!

Here's Ivan, the main miscreant, smiling into the camera of a fellow who filmed the incident, and who also reprimanded Ivan, asking "Are you serious, man?" Telling Ivan that what he was doing was fucked up, and that he was an asshole. All true! 

While Ivan is the principal miscreant, I'm not exempting Hayley, who I'm assuming is the blondie with the backpack, the go-along GF who did nothing to stop her BF. Just too smitten to be anything other than an accomplice.

They sure make a solid couple, and well deserve each other. 

Meanwhile:

Colosseum officials confirmed the vandalism and noted that a clearly marked sign nearby reads: “No climbing and writing on the walls.”

The Italian culture minister, Gennaro Sangiuliano, condemned the act.

“I consider it very serious, unworthy and a sign of great incivility when a tourist defaces one of the most famous places in the world,” he said on Twitter.

Mr. Sangiuliano reposted video of the wall being defaced and said, “I hope that whoever did this will be identified and sanctioned according to our laws.” (Source: NY Times)

The chances of identifying Ivan and Hayley is probably pretty high. The amateur filmmaker posted his vid on Reddit and YouTube and it's been all over Twitter and other platforms. (Too bad the poster didn't put down his camera long enough to alert Colosseum security on the spot.) Someone is going to out this a-hole. Ivan may not be capable of feeling actual shame, but I'm hoping that, if and went these lovelies are doxxed, they end up on the receiving end of enough criticism that they'll be made to feel a bit squirmily uncomfortable. (Ivan gives off bro vibes, so I'm sure he'll be getting some high fives from his fellow idiot bros.)

But the chances of arresting and finding Ivan is likely pretty low. The vandalism occurred on June 23. Ivan is English speaking - so not an Italian - and is likely to be long gone. 

Too bad. The fine for this sort of vandalism can be as high as 15,000 Euros. There's also the possibility of jail time. Unlikely that this is ever imposed. Oh, I don't need to see Ivan spend five years in an Italian hoosegow. But how great if he had to spend a night or two in a Roman jail. 

Even if the section Ivan defaced was "built during a mid-19th century restoration," vandalism is still vandalism. And Ivan is a true vandalizing putz. And, when he turns to grin at the guy with the camera...Jeez. I'm not usually the resort-to-violence type, but the phrase "I'd like to wipe that smile off your face" did pop into my mind when I saw that smile on that face.

Ivan, while terrible, is not alone. Over the last few years, a few tourists have been nabbed and fined for carving their initials on the Colosseum. And:

Last year, a tourist pushed an electric scooter down the Spanish Steps in Rome, causing damage put at 25,000 euros (about $27,000).

Oh, FFS, the Spanish steps are for sitting on while eating gelato, not for rampaging up and down on an electric scooter.

As for Ivan, he's said to be English-speaking. I hope he's not an ugly American, but he could well be. And while it's not likely, I do hope he gets caught. He and Hayley are certainly tourists from hell. Hope they stay out of Boston.

And just don't get me going on the boobs who destroy bridges with their locks of love. I'm not anti-romance. Just anti-destruction of shared public spaces. 

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After I wrote this post, I saw that Ivan has been identified. He's a Bulgarian-born Brit. Ivan Dimitrov has written an apology letter to the mayor of Rome, claiming that he was embarassed, hadn't realized that the Colosseum was an antiquity (duh!), etc. It's not clear that the Italian authorities are buying Ivan's mea culpa.  I'm guessing there's no extradition with England for crimes of this lesser magnitude, but maybe there'll be an APB put out for him throughout the EU, so that the next time he tries to Brexit into the EU for a bit of sun, fun, and vandalism, he gets busted. We'll see.