Runpee/rerunpee

It’s the dead of winter and, this being New England, that means it’s pretty darned dead.

And what with the deadening effects of winter in general and this winter in particular, I was casting about for the blogging idea that would be the equivalent of an amuse-bouche to end the week on. You know, a little something that would tickle the funny bone of the reader’s mind, not the mention the funny bone of the writer’s.

(If I’m not making any sense here, it’s because it is the dead of winter, and I have sadly found the answer to the question ‘would I be willing to take a long walk – or even a medium-sized walk - every day, even if it’s 15 degrees out?’ And that answer is a resounding ‘No!’ So I’m no doubt suffering from a bit of cabin fever.)

Anyway, just as I was despairing of ever finding my blog idea version of an amuse-bouche du jour, I heard a news bit on TV on the runpee app.

Surely a blog-worthy topic, given that there is no end to my amazement at the sheer volume of seemingly useless apps that are out there. And here was an app that identified the sections of a movie where theatergoers could take a pee break without missing out on the plot. Is this really something that the world has been holding its breath – and its bladder – for?

But as I sat down to do my post, I had something of a Groundhog Day (boring bit: maybe when they’re on the highway?) moment.

‘Hey,’ I asked myself, ‘Didn’t I blog about this app, like, a million useless apps ago?’

And indeed I did, way back in June of ought-nine, in a post entitled RunPee…because. (A title that is something of an in-joke for women of a certain age, as it takes off on the Modess…because ads of our girlhood. Back then, the sanitary napkin was a product that dared not mention its name. We’ve come along way, baby, what with all sorts of “feminine” products – including birth control and douches – saying it loud and saying it proud. Not to be outdone, of course, the guys have all the ED ads warning about those pesky erections that last more than four hours. Okay. This is neither here nor there w.r.t. runpee, but I just wanted to do a shout out to my fellow dames d’un certain age, especially given that, as we age, so do our bladders and we’re always on the lookout for clean bathrooms and we’re always devising workarounds, like don’t drink a cup of tea before climbing into the car. Don’t know what’s with all the French today, either. It’s not like I speak he language. Maybe it’s a dead of winter thing. Or the image of John Kerry and James Taylor giving France a hug, or whatever it is they were doing last week.)

Anyway, I’m sticking to my original read on runpee, which is a reasonable entertaining post, made a bit more entertaining by the fact that the founder of runpee stopped by to make a comment.

But I do want to say a couple of things.

First, it’s amazing that these guys are still around after all these years, isn’t it?

Second, it’s amazing that these guys are still capable of generating fresh publicity – like mentions on national news – after all these years, isn’t it?

Maybe it’s time for me to dream up a useless app of my own, which I may well be inspired to do once I drop my Blackberry into the recycle bin of life and step into the world of app-o-rama, of app-a-palooza.

One thought: why not an app reminding movie goers to pee before they get seated for the movie. With an add-on telling them to order the small-sized soda. Now that would be useful for those who haven’t yet figured this out on their own. Given the longevity of runpee, there must be plenty of them.

Meanwhile, since I’ve already done my rant on runpee, I need to look for a fresh app to make fun of.

I swear that the other day I saw something about an app that you use in conjunction with teeth-whiteners. Something that you shine on your teeth to accelerate the whitening process?

Damn!

What was I thinking when I didn’t seize the time and click through on it.

And now I can’t find it.*

Which means maybe I dreamed it up. Which means that, once I get a smarter smartphone, maybe I can even invent it. Especially with all the time I have on my hands, given that it’s too damned cold to go out and take a long – or even medium-sized – walk.

Watch this space…

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*Nope. I didn’t dream it up. Someone else did. As was inevitable, after I wrote this post, I stumbled upon it. There is, indeed an app called White Tooth that promises to accelerate the whitening process.